Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it.

― Hannah Arendt[1]

CLINICAL BIBLIOTHERAPY: Reading For The Purpose Of Healing

When adversity strikes, we turn to others who successfully walked the painful path we now face. We hope to find a road map back to peace. No two individual’s stories are identical, but there is an instant bond when we meet others who share our painful experiences. We hear their stories, and they resonate deeply within us. We give them the phenomenological nod[2] (Yes! That is how I think, how I feel, and I can see myself doing that!). We embrace their stories, reflect on them, and look for the wisdom within them.

Sometimes, that new understanding provides a clear direction that we adopt and follow. Equally valid, the insights we gain from hearing another’s story may warn us to walk in the opposite direction. Sometimes, our pain is so great or humiliating that we are unwilling to share our story of adversity with others. There are also times that we would be willing to tell our stories but are unable to find a true spiritual companion. We long to connect with a safe person who traveled a similar painful journey and not only survived, but actually thrived.

When we find ourselves walking alone through uncharted territory, it is possible to take solace from stories and films that are similar to our own experiences. Bibliotherapy[3], literally “book therapy,” is reading for the primary purpose of healing. One form of bibliotherapy, self-help books, takes a teaching approach. Detailed information and strategies for dealing with challenging situations inform us. Developmental bibliotherapy, often employed in educational settings, uses stories to foster more complex levels of reasoning. When therapists in clinical practice employ bibliotherapy, they guide clients as they process the experience of reading a novel that closely aligns with their own story[4].

One First Nations wisdom keeper put it clearly. “When you tell a story, never state the moral.” Hers is a culture steeped in a long history of oral tradition. She trusts that those listening will take the truth that each is ready to receive in the moment. No matter how much you resonate with Art and Meg’s journey to healing, yours will be a unique journey. Embrace the truths within it that are right for you. As they say in 12-step recovery circles, “Take what you like and leave the rest!”

Clinical bibliotherapy may occur in individual or group sessions. Clients are validated as they see their thoughts, feelings, and actions reflected in a novel’s characters. Contemplating deep, personal questions leads clients to clearer self-awareness and deeper compassion for themselves and others. Ideally, they are able to entertain a wider range of alternatives going forward. Above all, clients develop confidence in their capacity to create a future that is positive and fulfilling. The goal of bibliotherapy is epiphany[5]: an intuitive unveiling of essential realities hidden in the reader’s life.

The novel BEYOND PISD is the fictional story of Meg and Art Graham who walked through the pain of infidelity that was repeated over many years. Recovery from infidelity is a process, not an event. As their story unfolds, Meg and Art’s sponsors, mentors, and therapists present them with information, activities, and exercises that draw on the work of other authors. The descriptions of these concepts, activities, and exercise are included to illustrate Meg’s and Art’s experiences along their individual and couple recovery journeys. For those readers who are curious, footnotes in the novel provide the information required to access the original sources.

The way in which the activities and exercises are described in BEYOND PISD and the characters’ experiences with them are the creation of this author. These descriptions do not represent the opinions or views of the authors of those resources. Moreover, the inclusion of these activities and exercises is neither an endorsement of their therapeutic value nor a recommendation that readers attempt any of them. They are simply included as part of the story.

Meg and Art didn’t do it perfectly, neither as individuals nor as a couple. Whether you are the one who committed the infidelity or the wounded partner, you will not navigate what lies before you perfectly. Rather than a specific set of dos and don’ts, embrace courage, strength, and hope. Along the way, Meg and Art each felt discouraged and lost. At other times, they were confident, determined, and excited. They found their way.

Infidelity is traumatic and bibliotherapy is not a benign intervention. In the aftermath of infidelity, reading stories about and accessing information about infidelity has the potential to re-traumatize you. If you are reading this book to find healing from infidelity, please, find a competent therapist who can support you in the journey to healing.[6] Those who specialize in recovery from infidelity and intimate betrayal trauma have excellent resources to facilitate your healing journey. You might also engage with a self-help or 12-step recovery group[7] of others also recovering from infidelity. While not recommended, many attempt the healing journey on their own.

Whether you are working with a therapist, a group, or alone, a word of protection is essential. Reading this novel has the potential to retraumatize both the spouse who committed the infidelity and the betrayed partner. Walk carefully and honour yourself. If you experience intense fear, panic, anxiety, anger, or rage, trust what your mind, heart, body, and spirit are telling you. Stop reading, put the book down, give it away, or burn it. Sometime in the future, you may decide to come back to it.

If you choose to proceed to access the materials on this website:

• You confirm that you are an adult (i.e., 18 years or older);
• You do so voluntarily;
• You acknowledge that movingforwardcounselling.com strongly recommends that individuals and couples recovering from infidelity access direct therapeutic services from certified professionals, and
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